Tags: weight

catseye night

Losing weight

Since October or November, I've lost about 25 percent of my body weight. I've gone from 280 pounds to 210; from size 28 to size 18 or 20. I weigh less than I did when I was in my second year of college, which was way back in 1979.

It's strange in a couple of ways.

First, way too many people have asked me, did I go on Jenny Craig? I guess it's popular. No, I went fish/veg. And I'm not hardcore. I will still taste bits of food that have non-fish meat in them, but never cook or buy or order it. Not even chicken, because I think it may be full of fat-making hormones. I eat sushi including two pieces of tamago (egg) once a week (I love octopus!). I eat less food and drink water more. I don't drink soda very often.

And I go to the gym six days a week, three days for 45-minute cardio, three days for 30-minute cardio plus 30-minute resistance/strength training.

Yes, diet and exercise. It is work. I am dedicated.

I have to be careful not to eat only carbs. That's apparently a common problem if you don't eat meat. Fortunately I like tofu. Unfortunately I have to actually cook it and should do so more often.

But as to what really happened? What made it possible? I don't know. I think something in my metabolism changed. I want less food. I don't want soda. I look forward to exercising most days. I don't know why or how. I look at candy and go "meh." I look at meat and don't want it.

My mother died in December but this started a month or so before that. I don't really know what is involved.

My doctor sees nothing wrong with me. I am in his words "a healthy woman" (put an Italian accent on that as he's Italian). Whatever.

Second, it looks funny in the mirror. Instead of looking bigger than I thought, which often happened before, I look smaller than I thought. The first time I tried on clothing in a store after losing about 35 pounds, my reaction was "is that what I look like?", because I don't have a full-length mirror at home and it just didn't match my "trying on clothes" look.

This weekend I had to get more to wear. I was running out of the same old stuff.

I found out I was able to go to regular stores and try on regular clothes. Large or Extra-Large, but lots of them fit. I have a totally new field of clothing to hunt in! I went to Forever 21 and bought two things. Unbelievable! JCPenney, two things. Target, FIVE THINGS.

I still get pants at the plus-size stores. I'm a super pear shape, my ass is still big, though it's an 18/20 ass, not a 26/28 ass. What can I say. But XL, or even some L tops, fit.

The downsides, which are not horrible:

1. I have extra skin. I hope it will eventually shrink up, and my collagen or elastin or whatever will kick in. My plan is to wait a year after I stabilize at whatever weight seems to be my destiny, to see if things get better. But if it doesn't, I'm considering measures. I don't want to be a *lot* floppier than I was when I was fatter. I am vain. So be it.

2. I feel bad about all the clothing I own that doesn't fit. I can give it away, but I think maybe I can sell some of it on eBay -- at least the "new with tags" stuff. Some of it I never wore! I was the same size for years and years, and had a "deep bench" of clothing for any season. Now I'm struggling to find things that don't look like I'm nine years old trying on Mommy's clothing. I have some favorite pieces that don't fit and I'm pissed off about those.

If you're size 26 or 28 and might want some of my clothing, let me know. I'll give it to you for the cost of shipping. Tell me what styles and colors are good for you. I'm a blonde Winter/cold Summer, mega Pear shape, if that tells you anything.

3. I weigh myself twice a day -- at home in the morning, at the gym at night. Home weight is about five pounds less than gym weight because of clothing and shoes. I only record it every five days. I still am on alert if I gain rather than lose. I try not to obsess.

Super Strong Disclaimer: I know there are people for whom diet and exercise don't seem to work. What is working for me is not going to work for everyone. I never really tried to lose weight before. I've never been the kind to restrict calories or input. Apparently my body can do it. Others' can't.

I hate fat-shaming as much as I hate slut-shaming. So please, none of those kinds of comments, not that I expect them from any of my friends.
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